I’m currently raising my 3rd fifteen year old boy, but 4th fifteen year old total. This one has broadened my halo of gray hair that is hidden beneath these blonde highlights. I will say, from my seasoned perspective that as far as 15 yr olds go…boys are harder. Girls….at 16, dear lord, that is a whole other story. There’s a hump you have to get over with boys. The hump is “Who’s smarter in the end?” They think they are, and because they believe that so concretely, you are in for a battle. You have to willfully change their mind. I have battle scars from wounds that go deep, but let me tell you that if you survive, and you will, you will find your way back to that sweet boy that always lit up when you walked into the room. Yes!!! They will light up again without the eye-roll.
I have learned by the 3rd boy that I have to dig my heels in just as deep as they do. That it is okay, that for a while, he frankly, doesn’t like me much. Often times, I want to throw my arms around him and squeeze him so tight that I squish the ornery right out of him, however, I know realistically that it’s time to hold hard to the boundaries I have set for him. Sometimes, I will have to not believe him even though he may be telling the truth “this time”. Sometimes, you just won’t know, because he’s lost your trust. He needs to earn it back and he will, only to disappoint you again. It’s a battle of wills at this point. You have to out will him. The other side of your heart has to create balance. He needs to know that you unconditionally adore him and you forgive, and move forward giving him the opportunity to try to prove to you he can be trusted. Some take a while to let down the wall. Some get it quick.
My final boy and me? We are a work in progress, and some days I feel like he’s winning but he’s worth fighting for. I will raise good humans with good morals, values, compassion for others and self respect. Impulse control is imperative for them to get under control. Raising teenagers is scary, but so much fun. Stay tuned.